Today is just one of those “well hell” days – a phrase made famous by my mother. Well hell is kinda like…pretty much like…well hell. You’re just kind of there, not feeling one way or the other, not knowing how to comment, not knowing to care or not to care. It’s just Well Hell.

Have you ever had one of those days? To care or not to care? To feel or not to feel? Your mind & body just be all over the place. Frustrating indeed. You want to do better, feel better but ole “well hell” is riding your back. So then you say, well hell and do your best to make it through the day.

When we have these days we shouldn’t beat ourselves up. We shouldn’t go haywire trying to figure it all out. We really should embrace it. We should take our “well hell” days and reflect. Reflect on what could have brought this on. Reflect on what has been our thought process lately? Are these thoughts causing me to just be? Reflection is good for us. Examination of one’s self is even better. Examining one’s self is very spiritual, in fact we were commanded too. My best suggestion is to find that place where you can be one with you. Your mind isn’t racing, your breathing is slow & steady and just examine. For me, I take a walk if it’s nice outside or I find a cool spot under some shade to just chill. And then I just be. I listen to my thoughts, then examine them, I listen to my heart, then examine it. I even listen to my body and examine it too.

So today turn your “well hell” day into a day of reflection and examination. Who knows you may shock yourself!


Still Learning


In her death

Have you ever felt fear but you always knew you had someone you could run to? Someone that could give you a good pep talk or maybe even tell you how dumb you are? For me, that person was my mama. My mama was good at giving advice…some good, some bad. Some of her advice I took, most of the time I didn’t but she was always there to give it. 
Now she’s gone. My sweet little mama that was full of opinions & advice has left me for her heavenly home. I guess God needed her opinionated self more. Just joking. My mama was tired. She really fought a great fight. She was always a servant at heart. Even in her last days she wanted to serve. 

My mama was faithful, caring, family oriented, fun, funny and had a knack at using certain words that could cut you to the core (but she did this with love). I never saw fear in my mama’s eyes. For the 45 1/2 years I’ve known her, I’ve never seen fear in her eyes. She may have felt fear but she never showed it. Mama took care of home, was abused by her 2nd husband, cared for her girls & everyone else kids, ran a in-home daycare, took care of the neighborhood family, her immediate family & never showed fear. 

Now my fearless, faithful mama is gone. In the days since her death, I’m learning. Learning of my fears. Learning of my strengths. Learning of what she left me. Learning how her death is showing me fearless, faithfulness, servanthood.